I'm one of those rare beasts who's a massive fan of noisy horrible punk rock music AND the Eurovision Song Contest - you can do both! So I got to wondering what a Eurovision Song Contest would be like if it featured all my favourite noisy bands from across the continent. And on a dreary old lockdown Sunday afternoon I dug out a song from every Eurovision nation that still exists and knocked up a gurt big playlist of them all - and I reckoned it would only be polite to share it with you all.
There's all sorts of lovely noise here to enjoy - from punk rock to folk punk, hardcore to grindcore, rap noise and ska punk and jangly pop punk, and probably a bit more besides. I'm not for a minute pretending that they're the best bands from the countries that they come from (although if you know of any better ones, please do let me know), but it's a pretty decent place to get started.
Obviously when you're not an expert in the local languages, there's an outside chance that I may have ended up putting something of dubious lyrical content on this list, so if I have, please do put me right!
You can even vote for your faves at the bottom of the page if you can be bothered, in true Eurovision style. Otherwise just strap yourselves in for a big old journey around a continent of sound.
Take it away…
ALBANIA
PreMenstrual Syndrome - Bad Cybersex
ANDORRA
Última Sentencia - Skinhead
ARMENIA
Varakvatz - The Banner
AUSTRALIA
Cosmic Psychos - Fuckwit City
AUSTRIA
Ephen Rian - Spread My Wings
AZERBAIJAN
Sad Clowns - Rise And Die
BELARUS
Fuck It All - For Our Band
BELGIUM
Het Lood - Born
BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA
Dubioza Kolektiv - No Escape (from Balkan)
BULGARIA
Svetlio & the Legends - Grebanie
CROATIA
Abergaz - Vrijeme Nas Zove
CYPRUS
Nuclear Mutants - The Outcast
CZECHIA
Anyway - Bad Patient
DENMARK
URO - Ensomhed
ESTONIA
Winny Puhh - Bussis
FINLAND
Terveet Kädet- Vapaa Pohjola
FRANCE
Jodie Faster - 50 Seconds Of Disgust
GEORGIA
Scratch The Floor - Rage
GERMANY
Terrorgruppe - Krieg Ist Super
GREECE
Adidrasi - Fire
HUNGARY
Alvin és a Mókusok - Azért
ICELAND
Dream Wife - F.U.U.
IRELAND Paranoid Visions - Rough Justice
ISRAEL
Shitty CT - Contempt For This Thing
ITALY
Kalashnikov - Sonja Contro La Grande Distribuzione
LATVIA
Trauma Moralis - Bad Trip
LEBANON
Detox - Detox
LITHUANIA
Frekenbok - Bomb Ska
LUXEMBOURG
Versus You - Where Did Our Talents Go?
MALTA
Ġenn - Duda Dance
MOLDOVA The Cursed Strain - Condemned To Decay
MONACO
Godkiller - From The Castle In The Fog
MONTENEGRO
Zaimus - Under the Unholy Spells of Night
MOROCCO
ZWM - L'Fawda
NETHERLANDS
Peter Pan Speedrock - We Want Blood
NORTH MACEDONIA
Bernays Propaganda - Anonimen Neprijatel
NORWAY
Backstreet Girls - Where Have All the Bad Boys Gone
POLAND
Dezerter - Dzień Dobry, Dzień Zły
PORTUGAL
Anarchicks - We Claim the Right
ROMANIA
Scandal - Broken Down Dreams
RUSSIA
Moscow Death Brigade - It’s Us
SAN MARINO
Alchimia 2012 - December
SERBIA
Zbogom Brus Li - Ladi Ladi Lom
SLOVAKIA
Editor - Pod Porou
SLOVENIA
Fregatura - Šjora Špija
SPAIN
Expatriated - Who's In Control?
SWEDEN
Satanic Surfers – Catch My Breath
TURKEY
Padme - Sattın Kendini
UKRAINE
Den' Triffidov - Chornyy Flag
UNITED KINGDOM
Bob Vylan - We Live Here
If you've managed to slog your way through enough songs, vote for your top ten in the comments section below in true Eurovision style, give your favourite song 12 points, your second favourite 8 points, and then the rest from eight down to one. I'll be interested to see who who all like!
